Jesus Is Love
Happy Friday, everyone!
In my last post, I talked about how I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to relax instead of going into my routine cleaning schedule. I believe it was for an opportunity I was going to have later that day.
Growing up in Newark, I commuted daily to get to school, work, go to friend’s house, etc. And, If you didn’t know, there is such a thing as commuter rules lol. One of those rules is if someone has a pair of headphones on, you do not make conversation with them: they are not looking to talk; they are focused and in a complete jam session.
I was heading to NYC for a personal errand when a woman came and sat right next to me. Y’all she was so close to me that it was almost like she sat on top of me. I proceeded to move over to let her fit into the chair next to me. As the train left the platform, she began to ramble to one of the train conductors collecting the tickets about how much she doesn’t like people. I smiled to myself but felt a slight bit of dread on the inside because of what she has just said. Once the conductor left, we sat in silence for a few moments. She then looked at me and gave me some information about a train ticket I had purchased and to make conversation. Remember, how I just said commuting 101, if someone has headphones in, you don’t talk to them? They’re focused, don’t want to be bothered or in a jam session. However, instead of just smiling and saying thank you for the piece of information she gave me, I took out my headphones, thanked her, and began to engage in conversation with her. She talked about how much distrust she had in the world and people, why she doesn’t like people and then finally, the church. Now, the inner dread I had before definitely started to grow lol. However, I started to feel this wave of peace come over me. It was the same peace I had felt earlier that day when the Holy Spirit asked me to relax first and then clean.
As the woman spoke, she shared about why she doesn’t go to church anymore and how she thinks God is angry with her. After she made that comment, I then told her I go to church and that I am a believer. I told her that God isn’t mad at her but is absolutely mad about her. He is so in love and besotted with her. She started to get teary eyed and told me “ God has to be mad at me because He took away my baby.” In that moment, I was so grateful I had listened to the Holy Spirit earlier that day to relax and be with Him differently. With full confidence, I was able to tell this woman that God had not taken away her baby. He was there in her pain, in her grief and has never left her alone, even when she felt alone. That He cried and grieved with her over the loss of her baby. He held her and He loves her. He’s so sorry for the pain that experience caused but He didn’t cause it. He is good , and because He is good, there is no harm that comes from Him.
We sat there looking at each other, both with tears in our eyes and what probably felt like the most calm moment in the world. She told me she doesn’t know if she can trust Jesus and I told her she could. He isn’t harmful. He desires relationship with her and is waiting for her to respond. With that, the train stopped at 34th st. We got off the train together, talked a bit more throughout the train station and then stopped. Before I left her, I told her once more that she wasn’t ever alone and that He loves her. If she ever wanted to get to know Jesus for herself, she could start in the gospel of John. In that book, she would learn about the character and person of Christ. He is in love with her and He is for her.
I know this story doesn’t have anything to do with cleaning, but it was on my heart to remind you that you can trust Jesus. He is for you! He is not harmful, but kind. When disaster comes in life, it’s not because of Him. He is with us in our grieving, joy, hurt, pleasure and so much more.
